It's typical that in winter getting to the gym is harder for me. But I drag myself there and I always feel better for it. Usually Monday morning is the exception. Even in winter, Mondays feel so full of possibility and hope to me. Deadlifts or squats always seem to call my name that day. So when even Mondays I noticed myself dragging ass, I started paying attention.
Whenever I'm going to make a change, I like to just get real objective about my behavior. Start paying attention. And I noticed that weeks would go by that I never had that excited "Let's go get this workout" mood. I also noticed that I would sit in the car at the gym much longer than is reasonable.
So I quit.
After 7 years of consistent gym time, I gave myself permission to quit. I don't want to spend my life dreading things I don't want to do. And I really don't want to lose my love for weights all together. So I quit for now.
What am I doing instead?
I'm dancing around my house. I'm doing yoga flows. I'm inviting friends over to do dated cardio dvds that I still love. I'm spending more time at home and less time in the gym parking lot. I'm remembering what I love about movement and taking 100% of the pressure off of what it's "supposed" to look like to "count." I'm having fun again. Enjoying my body again. Doing a little less barbell math.
I'm hoping to miss it. I imagine I will. But it's refreshing as hell to let go of something that for any reason isn't serving me and find out again, that no that too doesn't fully define me. My habits are supposed to serve me, not the other way around.
So there you have it. One of my favorite things is taking a back seat while I seek other kinds of fun. I'm always reevaluating, being sure I'm at the helm and not stuck but not seeing it. Because I'm in charge of my body and my life. And I trust myself to follow where I'm lead, even when it surprises me.