Manifesting and going with the flow

For a cynic, the language around “manifesting” sounds a little ridiculous. You just think of something and then you get to have it? If you need to take the magic out (I love magic, but I hear you), it’s almost impossible to attain or achieve something you can’t even imagine. The first step toward anything is imagining the possibility, but it still requires work. And in my life, I’ve found it also involves some going with the flow.

Today I both have everything I have always wanted and it looks completely different than I thought it would. We moved into our tiny, perfect dream house, significantly ahead of the schedule we had imagined. By years. We dreamed up what we wanted and trusted that it arrived right on time (in this case about a week later). I had quit my job vowing I wouldn’t have another boss. But getting a house so far ahead of schedule added an unexpected drain on the savings I’d accumulated to quit. So I ended up taking a part time job at a salon. Which has resulted in a fun, relatively stress-free addition to my weekly schedule. Bonus points for getting my hair done, socializing and a reason to put on a supportive bra and lip gloss that I was missing in my full time, home-bound self-employment.

This work is something I never thought I’d do. It wasn’t a part of the plan. The plan was to be a social worker. But I personally didn’t find the feelings I was hoping to there. I found frustration with systems, limitations I couldn’t see through, it simply didn’t fulfill what I thought it would. What I wanted to feel in my work was a sense that I was fully utilizing my personal gifts and making an impact. And here I am, doing that in a way I didn’t know was a thing when I started.

With my latest book I thought I wanted it to be picked up by a publisher, but all of my efforts toward that felt wrong somehow. I always follow ease in my work (a subtle difference from easy–I want it to feel right). So I got clearer about what I wanted; a book tour, accountability from an editor, to be in stores. I found those things instead. My own way.

Instead of holding tight to a specific vision of things I’ve learned to focus instead on how I want my life to feel, and following the feelings. This leaves the manifesting, the how, up for grabs. Because what I really want isn’t a specific amount of money in the bank so much as I want to experience ease with my finances. What I really want isn’t to never have a boss, but to not feel unappreciated or stressed about employment that interfered with my life’s work. What I really want for my life is adventure, purpose, fire and ease. The way that all pans out is not always the way I expect, but so long as I follow the feelings I’m after it always does pan out.

Every time I follow “shoulds,” get bent out of shape about plans not panning out, or how things aren’t what I thought I wanted- I find myself terribly disappointed. And missing all the good that is right in front of me. This is when I’m all in the “manifesting this thing right now” and missing the going with the flow. Believing changes to be failure instead of direction. But when I relax the gaze and take the long view, I’m always ending up right where I belong.

Manifesting feelings while going with the flow. Imagining what could be and leaving the how up for grabs. That’s how I roll. It’s allowed me to piece together a life full of everything I ever wanted in ways I didn’t know were possible. And enjoy the process. From where I’m sitting, I have it all. Which has everything to do with my perspective and nothing to do with my plans. Pretty rad.